10 years ago, Star Wars created one of the worst video games of all time

weird dance sequences, terrible visuals and frustrating motion detection are hallmarks of the worst Star Wars video game yet. April 4th marks its 10th anniversary and it’s still an absolute wreck, maybe even worse than we remember. It’s easy to forget since it launched for a fancy peripheral that was a notorious flop, but let’s take a moment to reminisce about what made this game so awful.
A great disturbance
Kinect: Star Wars wanted to make you feel like a real Jedi? Back in 2012, Microsoft was pushing the Kinect again, a motion peripheral that tracked your gestures without the need for a controller. On paper, it seemed like a great idea that could potentially compete with the Nintendo Wii, a console that has sold over 100 million units.
So what better way to market the Kinect than to associate it with the greatest franchise of all time, Star Wars? Surely nothing could go wrong.
There was one major problem – the Kinect tracker wasn’t accurate enough to register even the most basic movements. There’s something ironic about being a Jedi – one of the most powerful beings in the galaxy – because your character stays perfectly still when you wave your hands wildly. From a comedic standpoint, it’s pure gold, but if you try to enjoy the game as intended, you’re going to have a bad time.
Horrid controls aside, the game is downright hideous to look at, with muddy visuals that looked bad even then. A decade later, time has not been kind to this game. He looks twice as old as he really is.
Look at this horrible spectacle.
I have a bad feeling about it
We must talk about the dance mode as it is easily the most infamous part of this game. Kinect: Star Wars features four main modes, one of which launches players into a galactic dance.
It plays almost the same way as Just Dance, requiring you to match on-screen clues to get points. While that, on its own, doesn’t seem too offensive, the fact that lightsaber battles are so underdeveloped makes it all the more baffling that a dance mode was implemented in the first place.
The songs featured are all covers of famous pop tracks with a Star Wars twist. Village People’s “YMCA” became “Empire Today” and Gwen Stefani’s “Hollaback Girl” became “Hologram Girl.” Seeing your favorite Star Wars characters dance was and is painful to watch, but for some this mode felt more polished than the main campaign. Emperor Palpatine doesn’t look so scary when he lifts the roof.
Perhaps the most enduring legacy of Kinect: Star Wars was the song “I’m Han Solo”. This remarkably low effort “parody” of Jason Derulo’s “Riding Solo” essentially throws a handful of proper names from the Star Wars universe into a blender and calls it a day. Watch in horror as the coolest smuggler in the galaxy dance like a tipsy uncle at your sister’s wedding!
Something to like?
So is Kinect: Star Wars all bad? Well, mostly, but it’s did launching alongside one of the coolest limited edition consoles ever released. The Xbox 360 console design was modeled after R2-D2 and even made “beep boop” noises when turned on. The controller was gold, mirroring everyone’s favorite protocol droid, C-3PO, making it an enviable collector’s item for Star Wars fans. This awesome system almost makes Kinect: Star Wars worth it.
Almost.
Happy Birthday, Kinect: Star WarsI imagine.